Posted on: January 16, 2013 11:59 am
Did you know that the loneliest creature on Earth is probably a whale who has been swimming the Pacific ocean for at least 12 years, and singing out in the hope of finding a mate.
Scientists report that every whale has a unique song, unlike that of any other whale – so different that while it’s been calling for companionship for over a decade.....
....it has never received a response.
Maybe there's a prostitute whale it can hook up with.
Maybe there's a promiscuous dolphin in the area.
Maybe it could pleasure itself. if it's fins were long enough.
Posted on: February 28, 2011 10:12 am
Edited on: February 28, 2011 10:15 am
Did you know that the memory span of a goldfish is 3 seconds?
I don't know how they figured this out, but it's true.
Here's my impression of what I think a conversation between 2 goldfish could go...
Goldfish #1 - "Hey Steve, did you see that Bill got a new plant in his bowl?"
Goldfish #2 - "No that's cool!!! What color is it?"
Goldfish #1 - "What color is what?"
Goldfish #2 - "Bill's new plant."
Goldfish #1 - "Bill got a new plant?"
Goldfish #2 - "Who's Bill?"
Goldfish #1 - "Wait, what are we talking about?"
Goldfish #2 - "I'm not sure. But I think i just farted."
Goldfish #1 - "Nice."
Goldfish #2 - "Wait....Who are you?"
Well, maybe not.
But it kinda makes you wonder...
Posted on: February 24, 2011 10:31 am
Edited on: February 24, 2011 10:31 am
Did you know that a female pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes?
Wow, that's gotta make the male pig's feel pretty good about themselves.
They'd be all like "Yeah, see what I can do for you? See how good I am?"
But then the female's would be all like "Yeah but you ain't be puttin' a ring on my finger yet."
And the male's would be like "Whateva, porky. You ain't tyin' me down."
And the female's would come back with "Don't chu be callin' me that bacon boy."
And the male's say "I'll call u what I want woman. Now make me a turkey pot pie."
And by then, the orgasm would be over and the female would just move out and take half of the mud puddle.
She would probobly start sleeping with the new young stud pig in the neighboring sty also.
Well, maybe not.
But it kinda makes you wonder.
Posted on: February 21, 2011 9:43 am
Edited on: February 21, 2011 9:47 am
Did you know that 90% of all species of birds are monogamous?
Posted on: January 19, 2011 12:55 pm
Edited on: January 21, 2011 10:04 am
....is getting a pet. Because someday you know that you'll have to stare back at them as the vet gives them a shot that takes the life from those eyes staring back at you. This is what I had to do on Monday. I had to fulfill my volunteer obligation that I signed up for almost 14 years ago and put 1 of my 2 dogs to sleep. Because that's basically what you do, is volunteer to go through this when you get a pet. You know that at some point in your life, you will have to do this. Hopefully sooner than later which was my case. But still, it is absolutley the worst thing you have to put yourself through. It brought a 37-year-old man right down to his knees. Here's the story....
Posted on: January 10, 2011 9:06 am
Edited on: January 10, 2011 9:07 am
Even though my beloved Packers pulled off a tough upset win yesterday at Philly, I still had to come back to work today, and I need a laugh. So please post links to your favorite youtube videos below. I'll get us started...
Posted on: November 22, 2010 12:02 pm
Edited on: November 22, 2010 12:05 pm
With Joe being in Texas veiwing gay films such as "Saving Ryan's Privates" and "Freeing Chad's Willy", it is my duty to keep the Caption Challenge going so you guys don't lose focus. I'll make sure Joe includes these points on his blog. Here goes!!
How to play:
It's simple, really. Look at the sports-related pictures above, and give us your funniest caption for any or all of them. You can write as many captions for each as you would like.
The challenge runs daily, Monday-Thursday. Each day's competition will usually be posted by noon ET, and will usually end around 11 p.m. ET. On Monday and Wednesday, Community member ktopp24 will be the judge. On Tuesday and Thursday, I'll run the show. If one of the judges decide that your caption is the funniest or most clever submitted for that picture, it will be declared a winner.
Winning captions will be announced when that day's challenge ends. There will be one winner for each picture, and also one winner for the person who can string together the 5 best captions all with the same theme.
You will be awarded one point for each winning caption that you post. You will see a running tally on the scoreboard, which will be posted at the beginning and end of each day. At the end of each month a champion is declared, and we shower that user in praise and adulation! We add his screenname to the Wall-O-Fame, and then we start everyone's score back at zero.
1. River_Rat - 16
2. D2Moo - 10
2. BuccinGator - 10
3. kmvenne - 9
4. Mr. Mo-Chi - 7
5. Buuba J - 5
6. WarpedMind - 4
7. skinsinsk - 3
8. Koufax32 - 2
8. Mister Peabody - 2
9. ktopp24 - 1
9. EagleMtnAirtax - 1
9. bluenosecanuck - 1
9. reed8992 - 1
Previous Winners: kmvenne (9), River_Rat (6), BigBluMasochist (3), Strictly Butta (3), theriverrock (2), BuccinGator (2), Jalap, Mister Peabody, Train Drailer, turbozo, NFL-Solomon, Badger_colorado, TennFan1972, Mr. Mo-Chi
Posted on: November 11, 2010 10:15 am
Edited on: November 11, 2010 3:00 pm
This being one of the most important government holidays of the year, I thought it necessary to post a blog for everyone to remember our troops in wars past, present and future. I'll start it off...
I just want to take a second and recognize all the veterens from all branches of the US military (Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, and National Guard). I speak from the heart when I say thank you. Thank you for everything that you have done, are doing, and will do to keep us safe. It is because of you that we live in a free country and have the freedom to do as we please within our borders. You provide us with a blanket of freedom that we could not live without. Just saying thank you does not do justice for everything that you do for us. But please remember, if I could shake the hand and give a hug to every single veteren of every war I would. Without you, we would be nothing. You all are the nails that hold this country together. Thank you for everything you do. Stay safe and come home soon.
I personally would like to thank my wife's father Sgt. Gene Draper who fought bravely (and survived) in the Vietman War and also my wife's cousin Pfc. Barry Back who is currently serving his 3rd tour in Iraq.
Please feel free to post any rememberences you want below and I promise to read and respond to all of them. Even if you don't have any family or friends that have fought or are fighting in a war, please leave a message if you wish.
I would also like to hear from veterens themselves so I can personally thank you with a virtual hand shake.