Posted on: January 16, 2013 11:59 am

1/16 Completly random and unexplained thoughts

Did you know that the loneliest creature on Earth is probably a whale who has been swimming the Pacific ocean for at least 12 years, and singing out in the hope of finding a mate.

Scientists report that every whale has a unique song, unlike that of any other whale – so different that while it’s been calling for companionship for over a decade..... 

....it has never received a response.

Poor thing.

Maybe there's a prostitute whale it can hook up with. 

Maybe there's a promiscuous dolphin in the area.   

Maybe it could pleasure itself. if it's fins were long enough. 

Maybe not. 
Posted on: June 14, 2010 11:43 am
Edited on: June 14, 2010 12:36 pm

15 steps to conference Utopia

With all the happenings around college sports concerning conference realignment, I sat down and came up with a 15-step plan that I believe will work for all involved. So, let's get right into it. The first 3 have already happened so that part was easy.

#1 - Colorado leaves the Big 12 and joins the Pac-10

This leaves the Big 12 with 11 teams and on the road to implosion. PAC-10 now has 11 teams.

#2 - Boise St leaves the WAC in search of greener pastures in the Mountain West 

This puts BSU in a conference where it actually has some competition. The rest of the teams in the WAC, besides Hawaii 2 years ago, haven't been tough opponents for them. WAC now has 8 teams and MWC has 10.

#3 - Nebraska leaves the Big 12 for stability in the Big 10

This move was perfect for Nebraska. It puts them in a conference that has serious competition every year, their own TV network, and now can have a lucrative conference championship game every year. Big 12 drops to 10 teams while the Big 10 now has 12. 

#4 - Texas, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, and Oklahoma St leave the dissolving Big 12 for the rapidly growing PAC-10
These 4 schools team up together and wave goodbye to the Big 12. By doing this, alot of rivalries are kept in tact and alot more are started. This leaves the Big 12 with 6 teams and jumps the PAC-10 to 15.

#5 - Kansas and Kansas St leap from the Big 12 to the Big 10

With the Big 12 staring death in the eye, the Kansases didn't want to be left outside looking in. So they accept an invite from Jim Delany and the Big 10. Big 12 only has 4 schools left and the Big 10 balloons to 14.

#6 - Iowa St rights their sinking ship and joins the Mountain West

Again, the Big 12 is all but buried and Iowa St couldn't wait around for a bigger conference to send them a Christmas card so they accept the invite from the MWC. Big 12 drops to 3 teams and the MWC moves up to 11.

#7 - Baylor jumps off the Big 12 wagon and joins Conference-USA

I don't know why I have to keep saying this but the Big 12 is all but dead. Baylor didn't want any part of it, so they move on. C-USA has stated that it will clean up the whatever is left from the mess that was the Big 12 and this is where it starts. Big 12 is down to 2 teams and C-USA bumps up to 13.

#8 - West Virginia and Syracuse accept bids to the SEC

The SEC does not want to be left out of the "Super Conference" talk so they start to dismantle the smaller Big East. The Big East drops down to 6 teams while the SEC toughens up to 14 teams.

#9 - Notre Dame gets off their high horse and joins the Big 10

With the Big East becoming noticably smaller, Notre Dame's basketball team might be left without anywhere to go. So they jump ship before any of that happens. Big 10 now has 15 teams. Notre Dame is no longer an independant in football.

#10 - Missouri and Texas A&M join the SEC

The final 2 remaining Big 12 teams find themselves wandering around the country searching for somebody to scoop them up. This finally happens when the SEC decides to send them an invite. The Big 12 is now the Big Zero, and the SEC is the first conference to have 16 teams.

#11 - PAC-10 invites Utah to join the party

The PAC-10 doesn't want to be left with an odd number of teams and with Texas A&M jumping ship to the SEC, they decide to steal Utah from the Mountain West and create their own college football paradise. PAC-10 is the 2nd conference to have 16 teams and the MWC drops back down to 10 teams.

#12 - Cincinnati, South Florida, and Louisville join Conference USA

With the impending demise of the Big East, these 3 schools are not waiting around to see what will happen so they move their belongings to C-USA. Big East is left with 3 teams and C-USA is now the 3rd "Super Conference" with 16 teams.

#13 - Rutgers moves conference ties westward and accepts bid to join the Big 10

The Big East is now all but mathmatically eliminated from existance. The Big 10 wants the New York/New Jersey market on their resume so they extend a helping hand to Rutgers. The Big East only has 2 teams remaining and the Big 10 is the 4th conference to have 16 members.

#14 - Pittsburgh and UConn join the ACC poker game

The last remaining Big East teams pull their wagons over the ACC and join the frat party. This leaves the Big East with nothing but what is left of their pride and the ACC becomes the 5th and final 16-team "Super Conference".

#15 - WAC asks Army and Navy to sleepover at their pajama party

The WAC was left with only 8 teams so they convince the 2 remaining independants to join their illustrious institution. This makes them a 10 team conference.

So to summerize....

- The Big 12 and the Big East fall into the college football abyss
- The Big 10, ACC, SEC, PAC-10, and C-USA are now 16 team "Super Conferences"
- WAC loses 1 team but gains 2 to have 10 total
- MWC wanted to join the elite "Super Conferences" but fell short and has to be happy with 10 teams....for now
- There are no more independant teams
- All of the smaller conferences (Mid-American, Sun Belt, Big South, etc...) and sitting back enjoying margharita's and laughing at everybody else

There you have it folks, conference paradise. Plain and simple.  

Oh man, my alarm is going off, now I have to go to work. What a great dream though....

Posted on: June 11, 2010 12:07 pm
Edited on: June 11, 2010 12:09 pm

Now this would be huge....

ESPN Radio has reported this morning that Texas and Texas A&M want nothing to do with the PAC-10. They would prefer to go to the Big 10. I don't know if that's true or not or where they heard it from, but they reported it.

That would be absolutely HUGE for the Big 10. With Nebraska already packing their bags and heading north, the addition of 2 more Big 12 schools would be sweet. That would reinstate the Texas-Nebraska rivalry that everybody is complaining about and it would make the Big 10 the Big 14 and it would allow them to have a very lucrative championship game in football. Plus it would get Texas on the Big 10 Network and even more money for their program. Because let's face it, we all know that this expansion is all about money. 

If this happened, here's how I feel they should divide...

Texas A&M

Penn St
Michigan St
Ohio St

And even if they go out and pick up 2 more schools from the East or Notre Dame and 1 eastern school, Northwestern could move into the West bracket and whatever 2 east schools they get would jump into the East bracket.

14 teams in the Big 10 would be awesome. 16 teams would be fine but that might be getting a little large. Although, like I said before, this is all about money. So 16 would mean more cash flow, but also more to distribute.

Your thoughts?
Posted on: June 2, 2010 12:27 pm
Edited on: June 2, 2010 12:37 pm

Tillman is one special inductee......

When I saw that the 2010 class that will be inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame had been released, I immediatly checked to see who was on the list. I had been waiting for a while for my beloved Wisconsin Badger coach Barry Alvarez to finally get his name on the wall. Well, I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw his name on the list. "Finally...", I thought. But then my attention was drawn to another name a little bit farther down the list that I believe is absolutely fitting, Pat Tillman will be joining Alvarez in the Hall.

I just wish that Pat were around to acknowledge the moment. Although I believe, knowing what he gave up in life, he wouldn't be comfortable in the spotlight. He would probably take the plaque or trophy or whatever they give these guys, and just say "Thanks." and walk off the stage.

The timing of the Hall of Fame announcement - on the eve of Memorial Day weekend - can be viewed as a tribute of sorts to Tillman, who starred as a linebacker at Arizona State and a safety in the NFL for the Arizona Cardinals before dying in service to his country in 2004. There are very few sports people I consider to be heroes. Pat Tillman was one of them.

Too many of us choose the well-worn path in life. We stay between the lines. We keep to ourselves. We carefully filter our thoughts and efforts lest we risk too much. The easy way out is always so tempting. Tillman didn't live that way. He listened to the voices of conviction. He gave up the life of a multi-millionaire celebrity to become a U.S. Army Ranger and accept multiple combat tours. Given a chance to cut his military commitment short in order to return to a lucrative NFL contract, he refused because of the compromise involved. The decision ultimatly cost him his life in Afghanistan, where he was killed by friendly fire six April's ago.

Most admirably is that Tillman resisted all attempts to publicize his sacrifices. Sadly, we've learned more about him in death - enlightening, but heartbreaking books by his mother, Mary, and respected author/journalist Jon Krakauer - than during a life cut far too short at 27 years. 

His family created the Pat Tillman Foundation in his honor, a film about his life is scheduled to be released this summer, his uniform numbers (#42 at ASU and #40 with the Cardinals) have both been retired by those teams, the plaza surrounding the University of Phoenix Stadium has been named for Tillman and a bronze statue of him stands in the middle, the PAC-10 conference player of the year award (given to Tillman in 1997) has been re-named in his honor, and the 1st USO center in Afghanistan (built with a $250,000 donation from the NFL) was established in 2005 and named for Tillman. 

Like I said before, Tillman doesn't strike me a a guy who be at all impressed with his induction into the College Football HOF. Humility and worthiness don't usually go hand in hand. But of all the newest inductees, Pat Tillman is the most deserving. Not because of what he did, but because of how he lived: selfless, genuine, and courageous.

I just wish that Tillman were here for the acceptance speech. Rest in peace, my friend.
Posted on: April 9, 2010 9:24 am
Edited on: April 9, 2010 4:04 pm

4/9 - Lazy Joe's Caption Contest

Ok, I know that I missed the 1st week in April when I was on vacation last week. So we'll start this month in the 2nd week. I don't have a guest judge for the month so I'll be doing it all by myself again. Good luck guys and don't forget about the theme and challenge points!!

Challenge Point: Best theme in "if Shuless Joe was a female high school cheerleader" format 

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April scoreboard

no scores yet

Previous winners:

River_Rat (November '09, December '90, January '10)
BuccinGator (February '10)
D2Moo (March '10)
Posted on: March 19, 2010 10:11 am
Edited on: March 19, 2010 10:46 am

3/19 - Lazy Joe's...Buctopp Birthday style

Well, today is BuccinGator's birthday and as promised, this day will be all about him. I found a picture of his wife Danica, some NCAA hoops pictures, that boxing moron from Joe's blog the other day so he can make fun of him again, and a great tennis face picture. Happy Birthday Buc!!! Don't forget about the theme and challenge points!!

Challenge Point: Best theme in poem format wishing Buc a Happy Birthday  

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March scoreboard
1) D2Moo - 7.5
2) River_Rat - 3.5
3) huachuca - 2.5
4) ktopp24 - 2
5) NCAABKJNKY81 - 1.5
6) skinsinsk - 1
6) Shuless Joe - 1
Posted on: March 12, 2010 9:54 am
Edited on: March 12, 2010 10:04 am

3/12/10 - Lazy Joe's...Buctopp style, round 2

Round 2 of the Buctopp contest is up and ready for dismantling. Don't forget about the theme and challenge points!!

Challenge Point: Best theme using the phrase "March Madness" in every caption

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March scoreboard
1) River_Rat - 2.5
2) ktopp24 - 2
2) D2Moo - 2
3) skinsinsk - 1
3) huachuca - 1
Posted on: March 5, 2010 12:45 am
Edited on: March 5, 2010 1:28 pm

3/5/10 - Lazy Joe's...Buctopp style, round 1

I am actually posting this blog entry late Thursday night because I will have absolutely no time to do it tomoorow due to me being in Pennsylvania for work training. But if any of you need a whole house lighting system, let me know, I can hook you up. Anyways, BuccinGator has graciously agreed to be the guest judge this week. So please don't be easy on him. Give him your best shots, give him 12 pages of entries to sort through, make fun of him this month....please. Remember Buc, your entries do not count. Don't forget about the theme and challenge points!!!

Challenge Point - Best theme in "Chuck Norris-isms" talking about how Chuck Norris can kick Buc's a$$ 

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March scoreboard

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The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com