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Tag:ktopp24
Posted on: January 16, 2013 11:59 am
 

1/16 Completly random and unexplained thoughts

Did you know that the loneliest creature on Earth is probably a whale who has been swimming the Pacific ocean for at least 12 years, and singing out in the hope of finding a mate.

Scientists report that every whale has a unique song, unlike that of any other whale – so different that while it’s been calling for companionship for over a decade..... 

....it has never received a response.

Poor thing.

Maybe there's a prostitute whale it can hook up with. 

Maybe there's a promiscuous dolphin in the area.   

Maybe it could pleasure itself. if it's fins were long enough. 

Maybe not. 
Posted on: February 28, 2011 10:12 am
Edited on: February 28, 2011 10:15 am
 

2/28 - Completely random and unexplained thoughts

Did you know that the memory span of a goldfish is 3 seconds?

I don't know how they figured this out, but it's true.

Here's my impression of what I think a conversation between 2 goldfish could go...

Goldfish #1 - "Hey Steve, did you see that Bill got a new plant in his bowl?"

Goldfish #2 - "No that's cool!!! What color is it?"

Goldfish #1 - "What color is what?"

Goldfish #2 - "Bill's new plant."

Goldfish #1 - "Bill got a new plant?"

Goldfish #2 - "Who's Bill?"

Goldfish #1 - "Wait, what are we talking about?"

Goldfish #2 - "I'm not sure. But I think i just farted."

Goldfish #1 - "Nice."

Goldfish #2 - "Wait....Who are you?"

Well, maybe not.

But it kinda makes you wonder...
Category: General
Posted on: February 24, 2011 10:31 am
Edited on: February 24, 2011 10:31 am
 

2/24 - Completely random and unexplained thoughts

Did you know that a female pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes?

Wow, that's gotta make the male pig's feel pretty good about themselves.

They'd be all like "Yeah, see what I can do for you? See how good I am?"

But then the female's would be all like "Yeah but you ain't be puttin' a ring on my finger yet."

And the male's would be like "Whateva, porky. You ain't tyin' me down."

And the female's would come back with "Don't chu be callin' me that bacon boy."

And the male's say "I'll call u what I want woman. Now make me a turkey pot pie."

And by then, the orgasm would be over and the female would just move out and take half of the mud puddle.

She would probobly start sleeping with the new young stud pig in the neighboring sty also. 

Well, maybe not.

But it kinda makes you wonder.

  

Category: General
Posted on: February 21, 2011 9:43 am
Edited on: February 21, 2011 9:47 am
 

Completely random and unexplained thoughts...

Did you know that 90% of all species of birds are monogamous?

Really, 90% keep the same sexual partner for life?

Wow, good for them.

But that makes me wonder about the other 10%...

Are they a bunch of playa's? Do they go out clubbin' looking for one-night-stands?

Is there a bunch of ho-bag females that fly around looking for males alone in a nest?

Are there pimp birds that keep a bunch of hooker birds for these non-monogamous males?

Is there a Heidi Fleiss type bird for the more famous birds like Toucan Sam or Daffy Duck?

Maybe not.

But it kinda makes you wonder.....

Category: General
Posted on: January 19, 2011 12:55 pm
Edited on: January 21, 2011 10:04 am
 

The worst thing you can volunteer for.....

....is getting a pet. Because someday you know that you'll have to stare back at them as the vet gives them a shot that takes the life from those eyes staring back at you. This is what I had to do on Monday. I had to fulfill my volunteer obligation that I signed up for almost 14 years ago and put 1 of my 2 dogs to sleep. Because that's basically what you do, is volunteer to go through this when you get a pet. You know that at some point in your life, you will have to do this. Hopefully sooner than later which was my case. But still, it is absolutley the worst thing you have to put yourself through. It brought a 37-year-old man right down to his knees. Here's the story....

A few months ago my black lab, Cole, started having breathing problems. He would all of a sudden have these spells of very labored, shallow breaths. But they would only last for about 5-10 seconds and they would go away. This would happen maybe 2-3 times a day and then he would be back to normal. My wife and I would notice it happen and just pass it off as old age. But as time went on, these spells became more and more frequent. So we took him in and had him checked out. But they could find nothing seriously wrong with him. So home we went and back to normal we were. Or so we thought.

Last Saturday afternoon is when things started taking a serious turn for the worse. He started one of his spells and this time, it didn't stop. The shallow breathing continued hour after hour. He was still able to get up and get to his food and water. He was still able to get outside and do his business, so we were hopeful that his breathing would get back to normal. And as we went to bed that night, he still wasn't back to normal. We listened to him do that all night long. There were times when he was able to get to sleep but the breathing continued. And when we woke up Sunday morning, he was still in the same spot as he was when we left him. And the breathing was still bad.

Now, it's Sunday, and his vet clinic is not open. And unless we take him to an emergency clinic and pay out the butt, we can't do anything for him. So, I start looking for somehow to get a hold of his doctor. After a short period of looking, I managed to find his home number. He agreed that something serious was going on and he told me to meet him at the clinic in 30 minutes. So we get there and he hooks him up to a bunch of machines and run a bunch of tests. He discovers that his heart is not beating properly and this is what's causing his breathing issues. His heart would have a bunch of good beats, and then go though a bunch of bad beats. And it was during these bad beats that his bloodflow was not happening right and causing severe weakness. Which would explain why he didn't move the night before. So the doc put him on 3 different pills and told me to call his cell# in the morning. 

So, Monday rolls around and we manage to get a 2nd dose of pills in him. I go to work with thoughts in the back of my head that something is going to happen. At about 9AM, my wife e-mails me that he still hasn't moved and she is now having to carry him to get outside. He is not eating or drinking anything and he doesn't appear to want to even lift his head. So I start texting the vet about eveything that is happening and that he appears to be worse than when he saw him the previous day. So he tells me to bring him in and they can run some more tests. So I take a 1/2 day off work and bring him in. They hook him back up to the heart monitor and now all of his heartbeats are bad, so bloodflow is not happening at all like it should. He is severly weak, dehydrated, and can't breath. That's when I made the very painful decision to put him down. 

They set up a room and give him a sedative to calm him down. I lay him down on his blanket from home and they step out of the room to give me a few minutes to say goodbye. I sit down on the floor next to him and the tears start to flow. I bend down, lift his head, kiss him on the nose, and tell him that I'm sorry. I tell him that he's been a great dog for us and we will miss him everyday. He looks up at me like he knew what was going on and gave me 1 last lick on the face. I motioned for the vet to come back in and about 45 seconds later, my Cole was gone.

It's not very often that I can say that I was brought to my knees knowing that there was nothing I could do. But on that day, I was. Staring back at that sweet face knowing that I was about to give somebody permission to take the life from his body is a feeling that I wish on nobody. It is devastating.

But I will always remember taking him pheasent hunting and that instead of bringing back the bird, he would try to tear into it right there on the spot. I will always remember that whenever I lay down on the floor, he would always come over and cover my face in kisses. I will always remember when he had a milkbone he would try to bury it in the couch. I will always remember that everytime the doorbell rings, he would bark so loud that he would scare away the UPS man. These are the type of things that I am hanging on to. These are the things that have kept me going the last few days. These are the things that I will never forget.

Category: General
Tags: Cole, ktopp24, pets
 
Posted on: January 10, 2011 9:06 am
Edited on: January 10, 2011 9:07 am
 

Let's make each other laugh...

Even though my beloved Packers pulled off a tough upset win yesterday at Philly, I still had to come back to work today, and I need a laugh. So please post links to your favorite youtube videos below. I'll get us started...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzcs8obIC6U

I laugh hysterically every time I see this. I know you will too...jive a$$ monkeys

Posted on: November 22, 2010 12:02 pm
Edited on: November 22, 2010 12:05 pm
 

11/22-Lazy Joe's Texas 'vacation' (gay film fest)

With Joe being in Texas veiwing gay films such as "Saving Ryan's Privates" and "Freeing Chad's Willy", it is my duty to keep the Caption Challenge going so you guys don't lose focus. I'll make sure Joe includes these points on his blog. Here goes!!

Picture #1
Week in Sports: Oct. 22-28

Picture #2
Week in Sports: Oct. 22-28

Picture #3
Week in Sports: Oct. 22-28

Picture #4
Week in Sports: Oct. 22-28

Picture #5
Week in Sports: Oct. 15 - 23

How to play:

It's simple, really. Look at the sports-related pictures above, and give us your funniest caption for any or all of them. You can write as many captions for each as you would like.

The challenge runs daily, Monday-Thursday. Each day's competition will usually be posted by noon ET, and will usually end around 11 p.m. ET. On Monday and Wednesday, Community member ktopp24 will be the judge. On Tuesday and Thursday, I'll run the show. If one of the judges decide that your caption is the funniest or most clever submitted for that picture, it will be declared a winner.

Winning captions will be announced when that day's challenge ends. There will be one winner for each picture, and also one winner for the person who can string together the 5 best captions all with the same theme.

You will be awarded one point for each winning caption that you post. You will see a running tally on the scoreboard, which will be posted at the beginning and end of each day. At the end of each month a champion is declared, and we shower that user in praise and adulation! We add his screenname to the Wall-O-Fame, and then we start everyone's score back at zero.

November Scoreboard
1. River_Rat - 16
2. D2Moo - 10
2. BuccinGator - 10
3. kmvenne - 9
4. Mr. Mo-Chi - 7
5. Buuba J - 5
6. WarpedMind - 4
7. skinsinsk - 3
8. Koufax32 - 2
8. Mister Peabody - 2
9. ktopp24 - 1
9. EagleMtnAirtax - 1
9. bluenosecanuck - 1
9. reed8992 - 1

Previous Winners: kmvenne (9), River_Rat (6), BigBluMasochist (3), Strictly Butta (3), theriverrock (2), BuccinGator (2), Jalap, Mister Peabody, Train Drailer, turbozo, NFL-Solomon, Badger_colorado, TennFan1972, Mr. Mo-Chi

Posted on: November 11, 2010 10:15 am
Edited on: November 11, 2010 3:00 pm
 

Veterans Day rememberances....

This being one of the most important government holidays of the year, I thought it necessary to post a blog for everyone to remember our troops in wars past, present and future. I'll start it off...

I just want to take a second and recognize all the veterens from all branches of the US military (Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, and National Guard). I speak from the heart when I say thank you. Thank you for everything that you have done, are doing, and will do to keep us safe. It is because of you that we live in a free country and have the freedom to do as we please within our borders. You provide us with a blanket of freedom that we could not live without. Just saying thank you does not do justice for everything that you do for us. But please remember, if I could shake the hand and give a hug to every single veteren of every war I would. Without you, we would be nothing. You all are the nails that hold this country together. Thank you for everything you do. Stay safe and come home soon.

I personally would like to thank my wife's father Sgt. Gene Draper who fought bravely (and survived) in the Vietman War and also my wife's cousin Pfc. Barry Back who is currently serving his 3rd tour in Iraq.

Please feel free to post any rememberences you want below and I promise to read and respond to all of them. Even if you don't have any family or friends that have fought or are fighting in a war, please leave a message if you wish.

I would also like to hear from veterens themselves so I can personally thank you with a virtual hand shake.
Category: General
 
 
 
 
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com