Tag:random thoughts
Posted on: January 16, 2013 11:59 am
 

1/16 Completly random and unexplained thoughts

Did you know that the loneliest creature on Earth is probably a whale who has been swimming the Pacific ocean for at least 12 years, and singing out in the hope of finding a mate.

Scientists report that every whale has a unique song, unlike that of any other whale – so different that while it’s been calling for companionship for over a decade..... 

....it has never received a response.

Poor thing.

Maybe there's a prostitute whale it can hook up with. 

Maybe there's a promiscuous dolphin in the area.   

Maybe it could pleasure itself. if it's fins were long enough. 

Maybe not. 
Posted on: February 28, 2011 10:12 am
Edited on: February 28, 2011 10:15 am
 

2/28 - Completely random and unexplained thoughts

Did you know that the memory span of a goldfish is 3 seconds?

I don't know how they figured this out, but it's true.

Here's my impression of what I think a conversation between 2 goldfish could go...

Goldfish #1 - "Hey Steve, did you see that Bill got a new plant in his bowl?"

Goldfish #2 - "No that's cool!!! What color is it?"

Goldfish #1 - "What color is what?"

Goldfish #2 - "Bill's new plant."

Goldfish #1 - "Bill got a new plant?"

Goldfish #2 - "Who's Bill?"

Goldfish #1 - "Wait, what are we talking about?"

Goldfish #2 - "I'm not sure. But I think i just farted."

Goldfish #1 - "Nice."

Goldfish #2 - "Wait....Who are you?"

Well, maybe not.

But it kinda makes you wonder...
Category: General
Posted on: February 24, 2011 10:31 am
Edited on: February 24, 2011 10:31 am
 

2/24 - Completely random and unexplained thoughts

Did you know that a female pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes?

Wow, that's gotta make the male pig's feel pretty good about themselves.

They'd be all like "Yeah, see what I can do for you? See how good I am?"

But then the female's would be all like "Yeah but you ain't be puttin' a ring on my finger yet."

And the male's would be like "Whateva, porky. You ain't tyin' me down."

And the female's would come back with "Don't chu be callin' me that bacon boy."

And the male's say "I'll call u what I want woman. Now make me a turkey pot pie."

And by then, the orgasm would be over and the female would just move out and take half of the mud puddle.

She would probobly start sleeping with the new young stud pig in the neighboring sty also. 

Well, maybe not.

But it kinda makes you wonder.

  

Category: General
Posted on: February 21, 2011 9:43 am
Edited on: February 21, 2011 9:47 am
 

Completely random and unexplained thoughts...

Did you know that 90% of all species of birds are monogamous?

Really, 90% keep the same sexual partner for life?

Wow, good for them.

But that makes me wonder about the other 10%...

Are they a bunch of playa's? Do they go out clubbin' looking for one-night-stands?

Is there a bunch of ho-bag females that fly around looking for males alone in a nest?

Are there pimp birds that keep a bunch of hooker birds for these non-monogamous males?

Is there a Heidi Fleiss type bird for the more famous birds like Toucan Sam or Daffy Duck?

Maybe not.

But it kinda makes you wonder.....

Category: General
Posted on: May 27, 2010 9:44 am
Edited on: May 27, 2010 9:46 am
 

5/27 - Completely random and unexplained thoughts

Did you know that in the year 2000, Pope John Paul II was named an "Honorary Harlem Globetrotter"?

So, the Pope thinks he's got game huh?

I can see him spinning the ball on his finger or dribbling between the legs.

Maybe he can even make a half court shot or some fancy no-look pass.

But can he take the rock to the hole against LeBron or Shaq?

Possibly. 

I don't think he was that tall though. And I'm pretty sure his vertical leap wasn't that great.

Plus his robe would get in the way.

And where would he park his Popemobile?

In addition, he dead now. 

So I think LeBron or Shaq could take him....probably.




 
Posted on: May 18, 2010 12:30 pm
Edited on: May 18, 2010 12:33 pm
 

5/18 - Completely random and unexplained thoughts

If a synchronized swimmer drowns during their routine, do the other swimmers have to follow suit?

If you are going to murder a mime, do you have to use a silencer?
Category: General
Posted on: May 5, 2010 11:32 am
Edited on: May 5, 2010 11:35 am
 

5/5 - Completely random and unexplained thoughts

Did you know that in Florida, it's illegal to put livestock on a school bus?

Well, how are they supposed to get to school?

I certainly can't drive them. I have to get to work.

And I live to far from school for them to walk. Plus they would just stop to eat grass along the way and be tardy again. Then they would have to stay after school in detention and nobody wants that.

Plus, they still need to be milked from time to time. And milking them in a classroom is not an easy chore for anybody.

Don't cows deserve an education like everybody else?

Stupid Florida.
Posted on: May 3, 2010 10:49 am
Edited on: May 3, 2010 10:51 am
 

5/3 - Completely random and unexplained thoughts

Did you know that Barbie's measurements, if she were life size, would be 39-23-33?

That's hot.

Nothing like a life-size plastic woman to get a man up in the morning.

Especially one with a 23 inch waist.

But I guess everybody has their quirks.

 
 
 
 
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